I am on a journey. My daughter has an addiction. These are not easy words. This is painful. It’s called a disease – this addiction. Where does this disease come from? What caused it to surface? The experts have answers but as a mother it’s impossible to understand the answers.
My beautiful, talented, funny, intelligent adult daughter is addicted to alcohol. Who in the family passed this gene on to her? I question this daily. There is no apparent culprit. I wish there was someone I could point my finger at and blame them.
As my story progresses there are situations which seemingly brought on this addiction. Was it lurking in her newborn body only to surface as a young adult? How did we make it through childhood, being a teenager, college without knowing? We did…but when I look back I think there were signs. I didn’t know this at the time. Who would?
Signs like depression, bulimia, lying and anxiety. When my daughter was in college one day she shared with me her struggle with depression and bulimia. We sought help. She beat the bulimia at the time…whew… good for her! Did she drink back then? Yes she did – did it seem excessive? Not for a college girl.
The depression seemed to go away with a new relationship. A steady boyfriend with a seemingly normal family. Friends to enjoy sports with. Cookouts and parties. Vacation. Family get togethers.
When you live miles apart it is hard to recognize issues going on in our children’s lives. My daughter and I have a close relationship and she shared with me. She also hid things from me – to keep me from worrying!
SO there I’ve said it. I’ve put it out into the world – my daughter is an addict. This is the first post of many. I am hoping by writing and sharing about my journey I will more easily deal with this mess and maybe even help another, maybe you. I know I am not the only mother who is on this path. Are you on a similar pilgrimage? Can I help you – can you help me?