What About All Those Other People At Rehab?

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It seems there is a mass text message among the folks from rehab.  Kae spent 30 days with these people.  Some were there for alcohol abuse, most there for drugs and or a drug/alcohol combo.  After she came out she told me how much worse off all these guys and gals were due to their circumstances at home.  Most would be going home to bitter families, non-supportive and not understanding….well, I mean I don’t understand but I support her decision to detox!

Some of the people she is referring to are much younger than Kae.  Some don’t even have an invitation to go home.  They are off into never-never land equipped with whatever they grasped at rehab.  This is scary!  I mention the others from rehab as I am curious – are these people good for my daughter?  Is it normal to remain friends with those you meet in rehab?

My daughter is a very pretty young lady.  It is normal for guys to want to hang out with her and I’m sure lending a shoulder to cry on is easy when the girl is pretty.  It concerns me that she will spend time with – let’s say those guys who were detoxing from meth or opiates – will her tender and fragile state make it easy for them to suck her down that path?  She’s proven already that going back to her addiction came easily – will it for these others was well?  Am I wasting my time thinking about this?

Maybe I am worrying about something I shouldn’t.  She’s spoken some about meeting up with a group of her rehab friends – but it has not happened yet.  I don’t have any control over this situation anyway…..

Moving on…….thanks for reading!  Any comments you can contribute – especially if you have been in either situation – mine or Kae’s – could be helpful!

 

Checking Into Rehab

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2 weeks in.  Kae is two weeks into rehab.  Her first – hopefully her only.  There is no shortage of speculation surrounding a return visit.  My husband, Kae’s dad and I speculate far too often.  It seems impossible not to!

I cried the day she asked me if I thought she should just check herself into a rehab facility.  I couldn’t get the word “YES” out of my mouth quick enough.  Those were tears of joy and fear at the same time.  Before getting around to that most important question she told me about the day before.  It was a nightmare that happened during daylight hours.  She had gotten drunk beyond measure and wasn’t able to drive home from an event she’d attended.  The friend who was kind enough to pick her up and get her home safely told me she’d even peed her pants.  So.Sad.  She hasn’t peed her pants since she was 2.

After her initial question I told her I knew of some facilities she should look into and see if one would take her right away.  An entire afternoon passed with lots of calls and updates.  This one doesn’t have a bed for me today, this one is too far away, this one won’t take insurance…At last she found one about an hour away from her home that would take her that day.  Unfortunately we do not live close to each other.  We are miles apart.  She relied on a friend to help her get to rehab.

She fretted over what to take – I told her to focus on what not to take! We knew at reception that her bags would be gone over with a fine tooth comb.  They even took away her hair products because there is alcohol in them.  I get it.  Upon check-in she did not pass the breathalyzer test – even though she told me all day that she wasn’t drinking. I knew it was a lie.

The fear set in right away when she made a last call to me and informed me that check-in was complete and she would be handing her phone over for an entire week.  Did I understand this process? Sure, but did I like it? Not one bit!  To go from speaking to her multiple times a day to not at all for a week…yikes!  I told her I loved her and hung up on my end knowing that would be the last conversation for a few days.  Should I have been scared? Not really as there was comfort in knowing she was in a safe place, but…..

Now I was full of anxiety.  How will it go?  What WILL they do to her?  Will she decide it’s not for her and try to bail?  How will her dad and I know what to do?  What if W finds out she’s there?  No, he does not know nor does he need to know her whereabouts.  He’d find a way to use it against her.  More on that in another post.

To jump ahead a bit.  Detox and rehab are going well.  She detoxed out in record time and was moved into a cottage with her own room – now free of a 24-7 chaperone.  Well, they did let her use a phone on day 4 to call and share that with me.  She went from taking the meds they offer to alcoholics to assist in detox to only being given vitamins and her b/c pills – by the doc on premises. This place is not fooling around.  I like it – I think she does too.

She is getting daily exercise, eating amazing and healthy food, seeing a counselor, attending groups sessions and learning how to cope.  She is now aware of how many others have addiction and choose to get help.  Some have checked into rehab multiple times, others have a heavy drug addiction, some are addicted to drugs and alcohol.  She has found a remarkable support system.

The hard part for her dad and me is that we live so far away we aren’t able to attend the family sessions where they teach how to support and set boundaries with our daughter.  I know we need this information.  It is so easy to enable or make it easy for an addict to stick to their bad habit.  I. Do. NOT. Want. To. Be. That. Person. Suggestions?  If you are reading and have tips for me please share them in the comment section.

I am considering visiting a local rehab facility to see if somehow I can find a class or session there to find out what happens next……